The only words you want to hear...

LYRICS
"the only words you want to hear"...all by Dickon Edwards*

Just For A Second * Something To Write Home About * Don't Kill My Rage * Fatal * Contained * Up Against It * Natures Hated * Someday Soon * You've Got The Answer Wrong * Furthest Point Away * On Dry Land * Afraid Again * Happily Unhappy * Don't Sleep Alone * Save Yourself * Three Letters * Here So Find Me

Just For A Second Through no fault of my own you were born with a withering tone.Through no real fault of your own you were born.And on the day when the teacher asked us "what do you want to be when you grow up?" you stood up and said "what I want doesn't get".And you proved it...and while you're out on the town making people IMPRESS you,I sit and rot at home.I've been kept at arm's length with industrial strength from the word go.So I don't have to tell you I don't go.Just for a second you lowered your defences and confessed what the world had guessed: "Deep down I feel I might actually be unremarkable." Well my dear,I have spent years just waiting for this moment,because I'M AFRAID OF BEING ALONE AND I'M AFRAID OF BEING NOT ALONE.But fun with you sounds too much like hard work.Love with you: too much like hard work.And the truth is unfurled: I'm not part of your world.Which is fine,cos you're not part of mine.You want no part in mine...so do I.

Something To Write Home About Shivering like it's the first time.Well maybe it is.After all this is how first times ought to feel.And suddenly everything matters,and nothing matters but you.You won me over.Or were you just winning a bet? And we broke the law on someone's blushing floor,on someone's sacred floor.And we broke the law on someone's frozen floor,on someone's sacred floor.Does nature have to be so awkward? I hope you were drunk enough to forget that under clothing,I'm nothing to write home about.And after several nervous fumblings and a quick glance in a book I feel I'm dying and it's proof I'm still alive.You slept upon the carpet while I lay awake all night,pinned between you and the disapproving wall.I finally drifted off,but woke at five beside an easy note.And did you know that wasn't my real name?

Don't Kill My Rage This is your resting place,all that is left is to put on a brave face.A brown carpet will hide all stains and alcohol will hide those troubling pains.So I spent my youth rehearsing for old age.And every day is a new bar in your cage.Don't you ever try.Don't kill my rage.You've got to face the truth your world's gone wrong.Left on the shelf with your best before date long gone."Sorry" is the only word in this town.Say something more and you're bound to be shouted down.So I spent my youth rehearsing for old age.And every day is a new bar in your cage.Now lock the door and let the city win.This isn't me.It's "MR. I-GAVE-IN".No it's not a stage.So don't even try to kill my rage.

Fatal There is no freedom among the lonely. No expectation,this dark won't lift.There is only boredom,erosion of the soul.Innocence is pariah if you want to 'live'.Pretty indifference,cute sacrifice,is preferred.This,the fatal futility of fact that I cling to,so demure.Here's to fatal emptiness of self.Pure rejection is still pure.Adolescence grates me,I have no point.Real love escapes me,I chose this fate.Crying in the streetlight,I've been here before.Discard me someone,I've found daily pain.I never want to wake up,my sleep is sweet.I can be lucky,for once.I kiss politeness,it seems to work.Gender is protection,it conceals self.Default feeling,I know it's still my fault.Default expression,I know I can't take the credit.I'm an investment,and little else,of my background.

Contained If you don't mind waiting,I will be near.Saying the only words you want to hear.And while we are talking our eyes must not meet.A smile of sincerity is a crime on these streets.Pacts held at lunchtime.Lunch left to waste.Speaking of Life and Books (well,what else in THAT place?)...In these drab,loveless buildings,that all look the same,you are my teacher but I am contained.I may laugh,but I am only to blame.Words that could SAVE me I kept so contained.In that tip of a summer,nothing could mar those tentative times in that wreck of a car.I was yours for the asking,a child afraid.Sent unfettered letters,postage unpaid.In identical avenues that no one would miss,the world could not touch us,but we could not kiss.For in this life that is measured out in bus stops and rain,you were my teacher but I was contained.

Up Against It There must be a new ending,to disable this timetable.I know nobody wants to love someone who too badly wants love.O,just for ONCE to feel the hands of somebody that UNDERSTANDS,Not to hear "Sorry,I've other plans." And boy you're up against it now.She is tired of listening.Strangers saying what's best for her."I've been banging my head against this wall for so long that it almost makes sense." O,just for ONCE to feel the hands of somebody that UNDERSTANDS,not to hear "Sorry,I've other plans." And girl you're up against it now.What was promised,now denied,is again promised,again denied.When you've raised your hopes so many times you question if you're meant to BE.She sighs, "There's no life in his eyes." He sighs, "There's no love in her eyes." These bruises will never heal because you're up against it now.You're up against it now.You're up against it.

Nature's Hated All those private walks in all those public parks. All those letter smothered in exclamation marks: "I can't bear to be here, where there isn't you." "It just isn't me to make you realise." "So your company was just a compromise?" I can't help these feelings; they are what I am. There are those who do and there are those who be. There are those who look and there are those who see. There are those who just agree and then there's me. One of nature's hated. I don't kiss and tell. I'm too fond of kissing. I become unwell, so there's SOMETHING missing. Another stifled sigh "please catch my eye." You're not like the rest, they have never WONDERED. What if I confessed that my heart is plundered every time you smile, every time you speak? That night felt so right, that time that I felt alive. That night, was the ONLY night...I have seen the light.

Someday Soon I always wanted what was quite beyond my reach. I've used up all my goes this way. And if my chance ever showed its wretched face, I must have looked the other way. But deep inside my mind...you have gotten deep inside my mind. Someday soon we will meet (and you're going to make me feel complete). I can't believe how much I've never done. I can't believe I really care. I thought that life was something other people felt and something that goes on elsewhere. Well I wish I was a girl, because you're only NICE to girls. You'd love to know a lot more people. But they mostly seem quite dreadful. And come the day you say you can't live with yourself, well you could always come and live with me.

You've Got The Answer Wrong You're very kind, but I'm not that strong. And by the way you've got the answer wrong. I did my best to show the signs, to demonstrate I'm not that way inclined. It's just as well I'm not as old as you and all your fancy friends foretold. They sent you cards on my behalf, and clearly all the wrong things make me laugh. So long my dear, it's time to smile. Your presence in my person was something vile. I wasted time, by lying low. You can hide your thoughts but your feelings will still always show. So will I cope? Will I survive? Well I wouldn't saying being with you was being alive. You're very kind, but I'm not that strong. And by the way you've got the answer wrong. Once again you've got the answer wrong. You've got the answer wrong.

Furthest Point Away In a darkened setting, You want to take to heavy petting, But unstable equals unavailable too (I'm SO sure�) A wink begets a sigh, You won't pre-empt so why should I?, Or is it only something in your eye? (I'm so unsure�) Settling for silence, means I want violence, This damn passive soul, Dear heart, you're very kind, But lust is such a waste of time, There's no embrace, now I know my place, It's the furthest point away, You must often think, If you disappeared would anyone blink?, Would anybody shed a tear?, Well, there's one here� You are scared he'll stay, And then you're scared he'll go away, "I'd like to be myself but it just isn't ME!" You told me� Settling for silence, Over-riding violence, This sweet passive soul, All the books and the looks from the boys who annoy, and the maze of the days and the ways to a haze, and the dreams and the schemes that never amounted to much� didn't apply anyway, I can't feel if I'm real so I'm happy to steal, from your stores as your laws and your company whores, deal in waif culture, safe culture, dignity of distraction� was there ever room in all of this for me?

On Dry Land Flash your moral decay at me dear, Have your wicked way with me dear, We don't even have to tell a soul, Unless you really want me to, Too cool to cuddle, too scared to kiss "And thereby hangs a tale" you hiss, A daily detour just to pass your door, Was all that I was breathing for�Tell me does it seem so wrong, Waiting to be saved by somebody STRONG? So untouched by human hands, That I'm starting to conclude this is what was planned, But still I stand on dry land, Headlong into phone calls darling, Now the hateful phone calls darling, You're tucked up in bed with a favourite book (Well I never thought I'd be jealous of a book), Runaway I'll love you, come to me I'll kill you, It takes an awful lot to thrill you, Just carve out a heart on a dusty window, And put our names inside., And here I'd like to emphasize that sex might be a crushing bore, (But just to be in your company is all I'm aching for)

Afraid Again Afraid again, You lie awake crying, From nothing to link with, Or to love "To hang on some arm, beaming "Other Half" charm? Well it isn't me� Life gracefully spent as a mute supplement, Well it's not to be�" So you lie afraid again, 'Cause freedom brings only, Half-lives as half-lived as ours, Afraid again, You lie there regretting, That people never speak like, or LOOK like, The way they write�To want to belong and not know why that's WRONG, Well, that's what we share! Ill-fitting careers while we bury our tears, Well we couldn't dare�So we lie afraid again, 'Cause freedom brings only, Half-lives as half-lived as ours�We kiss, but only to smother the words�And we lie afraid again�

Happily Unhappy I was dying, But then you came, You cried my name, And I breathed again, I lay certain, That my best day, Had been filed away, You ruined everything� Happily unhappy, Resigned to be, Happily unhappy debris, There is nothing, To quash the fear, To keep me here anymore, I look daily, For just one sign, That things are fine, But I think too much all the time, You must see that, It's not your fault, To live by default, And not design, Life can merely, Be bravely borne, If you are born into the wrong frame (Or at all�)

Don't Sleep Alone Don't sleep alone, Don't sleep alone, Because I KNOW, You don't really WANT to, I can tell by the look in your eye, You'd rather DIE�Don't be afraid, Don't be afraid, Because I KNOW, You're so far from happy, It's the reason why you rant and sneer, You want someone NREAR, Don't sleep alone, Don't sleep alone, Because I KNOW, It's something you're USED to, So it's time to be shamelessly bold, While we're still not OLD, Don't sleep alone, Don't sleep alone, Because I KNOW, There's someone here who LOVES you, Who's prepared to so just anything, Take me under your wing, Someone to keep you awake, Someone to worry your friends, Someone to get in your way, And make no amends, And make you ALIVE, No no no no no no�

Save Yourself Who wants to "live forever"?, Hands up all, I'll count you now, Gone is Love, and gone is Living, Here is hurt, and here is pain, But no-one knew THEN, dear, So no-one knows NOW, so Save yourself� You go play, I'll keep the wall company, What's the use, When dreams STAY dreams? You once laughed- I remember laughing WHY BE KIND WHEN SCORN REASSURES? But they can't be FRIENDS, dear Like the ones you cast aside� Save yourself, How can you smile, At those who were never children? It may well be easier to fail, But I'd gladly perish if you could prevail, You go play, I'll keep the wrong company, What's the use, When money wins? You once cried, I remember crying, Now I'm numb, And I'm killing time, But you speak of the Last Time so make this the Last Time: Save yourself�

Three Letters Mother, Remember, You always said, "Do whatever makes you Feel happy" Well I Found no Happiness where it seemed likely, Where it was PROMISED, That's why I have to try, Another place, Father, Please don't, Feel bad, This child was never meant to, Grow old, Surely? I'm sorry�They told me, "Be true to yourself!" Look where THAT got me: Residue, surplus to Love. Please realise that few days have passed, Without envying those not long for this world, Blessed with exemption from blame. Teacher You stole My best times, Rich in tests, poor in friends, If downhill, From now on, Why prolong? Waking was just a bad habit, I picked up from birth, That's why I want to try another place, It can't be WORSE.

Here So Find Me I have the kind of face, That is only meant for, A lifetime of taking up space, Of smiling, not much more, Deferred and detached I stand, Just longing to be longed for, So tell me, O drab little man, Were you like me, sometime before? And I am here, When will you find me? Here, Why won't you find me? I DON'T WANT TO BE ANYONE, LEAST OF ALL MYSELF, The last time I opened my eyes, I saw, both at once, The wood and the trees and I cried, For us dear, there's no chance, To get yourself out of a scrape, You need beauty and breeding, But now we're afraid it's too late What life could we be leading? Well it may seem a bad thing, I KNOW, But lately, I've felt like, Taking the darkest route home, In the hope that I may find, Someone or something like me, Has followed the same path, But I turn around, see no-one and go, To bed with that nervous laugh

* All lyrics are published by Trade Publishing Ltd, a division of Polygram Island Publishing, except "How Can We Hang On To A Dream" Tim Hardin, publisher unknown to site designer. Also all very probably copyright, this stated in the light of Oasis' recent action regarding webzines, to hopefully prevent me ever getting my wrists slapped by someone. Just a precaution.