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Tart Rejoinder
A rant. By me. From the MM letters page. Enjoy.

RE: Your Kenickie/Orlando live review (MM, 2/11/96).
So, you're prepared to give Kenickie a good review, but only on the grounds that you "like tarts"? Yeah, have a good wank over it, why don't you, mate. I suppose music isn't a consideration? You are a f***ing sexist twat, enough said.
And as for your slagging off the gorgeous Orlando...dearie me, do we have to resort to cracks at their "cheap suits" ? Reminds me of a certain Richard Parfitt and his shirt obsession. Dickon said it all when he considered sending you the receipts for his (expensive) suits- does it really f***ing matter? Did Jarvis Cocker fail on grounds of inadequate dress? Orlando have more soul, more talent and passion than you could dream of. And they don't need to take cheap shots like that.

When Dave Simpson said that he "quite likes tarts", he meant the remark in a purely avuncular, paternalistic sense. The Victorian Prime Minister Gladstone used to wander red light districts and befriend "ladies of the night", not for his sexual gratification, but to offer them succour, friendship and assurance that they were not moral outcasts but fellow beings under Christ. Dave was thinking along similar lines.
Would you, "Nature's Hated", have preferred Dave to have said that he hated tarts? I think not. Hate Orlando, yes, tarts no. I hope that cleans up this matter.